We’ve been talking a lot about changes behind the scenes of Anxiety Ink. Even on my personal blog, E.V. Writes, I’m revamping things. Change stresses me out. Delving into the unknown is both exciting and anxiety inducing.
I’m tackling a lot of things I know nothing about. My only saving grace is that I am a fast learner and able to learn about a variety of topics. I know I can keep my head above water and figure out everything I need to know. It’s a bit difficult talking myself down and confirming that in moments of upset. At least with age I’m getting better at calming myself.
As far as business goes, as far as running my own business goes, I am a fish out of water. I need a lot of hand holding and there is no one to hold my hand, which is its own frustration. But a lot of things have jumped out at me lately and made me realize that not knowing is not the same as failure, and trying is more important than not.
I’m relying heavily on my day job experience as a confidence boost when it comes to running my writing business. I’m sure I’ve mentioned I’m in the world of finance. While that sounds underwhelming, let me place it in context for you.
I’m very right-brained, I excel in the arts and I’m very good at memorization. While I am logical and rational, I have struggled with math and calculations my entire life. That is my main area of weakness. I also struggle with human interaction but I doubt I can blame either side of my brain for that.
My point is, I’ve ended up in a job that relies on my areas of weakness: math and people. There have been perks since day one, like working close to home and having benefits, though I absolutely had my share of moments where I felt overwhelmed. My six month itch was hard to get through –I think everyone has a moment where they feel they want to quit their job about six months in? I do the same around the two year mark. Have you ever noticed you follow that pattern or is it just me?
Anyhow, I stuck it out, and the funny thing now is I’m good at my job. Really good. I’ll never be a natural salesperson or mathematician, but I’ve proven to myself that in the same playing field I can keep up with the naturals. It took me roughly 24 months to acquire the necessary knowledge base and hone my skills, but I did it.
Each year at my job we do our performance evaluations in October (the fiscal year ends October 31), which is when we basically get graded by our managers. Last year I received the highest grade, which means I really had/have to work my butt off this year to do the same. I think I have, we haven’t had our meeting yet. What I do know is that my sales abilities, my ability to talk up myself and my products, and stand up for myself have vastly improved this year. As have my abilities to juggle a lot in a smaller timeframe.
What I’ve learned at the day job is highly applicable to my writing business, and the skills I’ve acquired are invaluable. I still need to work on my confidence and figure out the general running of things, but I have evidence that I can excel once all the little bumps are figured out. Being a writer today, especially a newbie with thoughts of delving into the indie world, these skills are invaluable.
I still have a lot of learning to do. So much so that I’m a little overwhelmed, but I can do it. I’ve proven to myself that I can enter into a world green as a cucumber and still come out, if not on the top, damn close to it. I just have to put in the time and the effort.